Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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