Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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