This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
