that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
