I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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