Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
