It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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