I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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