Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
