My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize