YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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