can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize