Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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