I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
