went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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