I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize