Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
