I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
