some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
