i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
