no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
