Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
