I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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