I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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