A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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