It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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