I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
