I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
