i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize