Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
