It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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