evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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