theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize