yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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