Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
