it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
