spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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