just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize