Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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