I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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