I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
