I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
