Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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