When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
