he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
