I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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