we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize