please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
