Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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