Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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