i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize