He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I want a musical about memes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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