It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
