Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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