is this the sara with the beer cane?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
