I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
