Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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