You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Life is so much better after having sex.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize
