i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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