meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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