I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
