I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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