meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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