Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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