Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
