16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
