Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
